Started off with a minor twitch.
Up till today. I really had a bomb of my life.
I cried myself to sleep yesterday.
Why are we in such a situation.
I woke up this very morning.
Feeling very angry, I blogged.
I skipped my class today, because I know that I need some rest.
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My day was fine when I woke up.
Due to the fluctuation in the mood that I'm having.
I called my buddies out, to play some pool, Asian Cafe.
And up till late night, about 1am plus.
I stumbled upon receiving your long long longgg message.
Cracks. My heart begin to tear into pieces.
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Shortly my mood changed. I rush home.
I don't even know what I'm typing now.
I checked my facebook.
In such a short period. You DELETED me.
I'm astonished.
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I'm called. I'm called. I'm called.
I have a future that I want to serve in preaching.
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I'm not clear with what I want.
But I feel so lost now.
Though my cold words and harsh rejection spills,
but I do have admiration towards you.
In all areas you are fine. Except for just one particular area.
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Why do I feel lost without you.
Even though it has been just 2 hours after I received the message.
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No sense of direction now.
Don't even know how to face you anymore.
Since you think I'm your very first enemy right ?
When I'm 40.
If I'm still single at that time.
I guess the punishment came from this matter.
But I should've expected it earlier.
Since you've rejected like, numerous guys.
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It's good. Now you don't have to worry whether I'll get angry with u anymore.
Whether our childhoods memories are to be kept.
The times where you told me your problems.
I told you mine.
The times I joke with you ; same goes the other way round.
Times when I was so down, that you came and gave me your smile.
When I feel small, when I heard your testimony. Mine was like nothing.
So fortunate that everyone in church looks up to you, but not so much of me.
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Tonight. I just realised I lost my dearest. Whether she'll forgive, it doesn't matter anymore. God, forgive me. I've been a kid in a man's body.
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Whether you'll ever come back and see this post or not. I wouldn't know. I have a heart for you. But, it doesn't count and matter anymore ? =\
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